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Thursday, August 6, 2009

Sweet Sixteen

Almost sixteen years ago I gave birth to a beautiful 7lb 7oz baby girl. I was already the proud mother of a sweet toddling little boy who was so perfect and so handsome (and no I'm not prejudice at all).

But my selfish side now so longed to have that little girl. A little girl I could put those really big bows in her hair, hold her hand on the first day of school, take to cheerleading practices, and eventually teach her how to properly apply make-up, and drive (not at the same time, of course).

And after she has become a young woman, stand there as she tries on the most perfect wedding gown and proclaims, "This is the one!"

Oh Yes, my secret prayer was answered and my second bundle of joy arrived August 9, 1993 at 7:15am, Eastern Standard Time. We immediately named her Jordan Renee. The only name we ever discussed if we were having a girl.

The hospital was all a buzz that day. Ladies were coming in left and right yelling, "Epidural!" And I thank God for that glorious medicine; God's gift to women in labor.

Needless to say they had to move me out of our room to another wing of the hospital so more babies could be born.

It was quite a while before everything settled down and my room was quiet, visitors gone, doctors and nurses gone, and left was just me, Mark and our little Jordan Renee.

For the past nine months I would rub my belly and wonder. Wonder what this baby was going to be. Wonder what this baby would look like. And now, finally, I was able to, in the silence of my room, hold her, unwrap her and tell her I loved her for the first time.

And that's just what I did. With Mark at my side I proceeded to unwrap this gift that lay in my lap. As soon as I was able to get her arms and hands unearthed, my tears started flowing. Mark, not knowing what to think, so sweetly asked me, "Tina, what's wrong?"

You see, I have always, even as a very small child been keenly aware that my hands look just like my mothers and as I looked down at these little hands I replied back to Mark through my tears, "Her hands look just like mine."

After looking at my child and seeing myself, I said, "We have to change her name." He said, "Anything you want to do". (You don't argue with a woman who has just given birth.)

Although I go by Tina, my first and middle names are Christina Rae. I told him I wanted to change Jordan Renee to Christina Marie, the name my aunt called me all my life.

And just as my aunt had that special name she called me, Mark too has a nick name he calls me, Bina. It has a special and intimate meaning that only he and I know.

Listen to Revelations 2:17 ...To him who overcomes... I will also give him a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to him that receives it.

I wonder, at that moment when I am standing before God, is He going to look at me and say, "I am giving you a new name Tina. A name that only you and I know because you are so special... because our relationship is so intimate... because when I look at you my child, I see Myself."?

Oh I hope when my Father looks at me that He catches a glimpse of Himself. That He proudly proclaims to all the hosts in heaven, "She looks just like her Daddy."

And to my daughter, Christina Marie Johns, a.k.a. Chrissy, Happy Sweet Sixteen. May you always resemble your Heavenly Father!!

All my heart,


1 comment:

Barbara said...

Happy Birthday Chrissie -- so beautiful...like her mom. What a wonderful loving post.