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Monday, September 12, 2011

Growing & Connecting Spiritually

A question was posed to me from a wife in our church that I wanted to share with you today along with my answer.

How does a husband and wife grow and connect spiritually?

This is an excellent question that few couples think to ask. Many Christian couples never realize that those who travel together spiritually are usually well equipped to handle life’s difficulties because they are learning to tackle them as a team.

Of course everyone believes the best way to grow and connect spiritually is to have a set time each day that you and your spouse can sit down, read your couples devotional for the day in your couples devotional book, you know, the one with the picture of the oh-so-in-love couple on the front. And then have deep, introspective dialogue followed up with praying for one another.

If you and your spouse do this, I think that's awesome!! And I mean it.

But the truth is for most of us it is not our reality.  Conflicting schedules or maybe an unwilling spouse may keep you from this. So if you have said, Yea, right, to the ideal then you’re in good company because most of the other Christian couples on this planet do not do this either, including myself and the hubs. 

Does that mean Mark and I are bad, less spiritual, or guilty for not making time daily for a devo-date?


And neither are you.  Sometimes it really is an impossibility and/or your spouse may find it difficult to connect and share in this way.  And that's ok.

I have learned that growing and connecting spiritually is not about a shared devotional life but a mutually devoted life. So don’t feel bad, or think your spouse is terrible because they don't want to sit with you each day in this type of setting.

So let me give you a couple things that Mark and I have found that allow us to grow and connect spiritually... sometimes daily, and sometimes not.

One is sharing with each other things we have discovered while reading a great book or studying scripture. Of course he being someone who shares the gospel every week he’s in the Word unearthing truths continually. And yes he shares these findings with our church on Sundays, but he shares and discusses them with me first which allows us to grow and connect spiritually as a couple.

And the same for me when I am studying. I had a revelation last week that I shared with him and after seeing the look on his face, I’m pretty sure he’s going to use it in a new message he’s working on. 

I'm always happy to assist. (Insert smiley face here)

Another way we have connected and grown spiritually is just spending time viewing God’s handiwork and sharing how amazing God is. We sit in our front yard and watch this every night that we can.

And our discussions always find their way back to God’s greatness, God’s vastness, God’s ability to run this whole universe and yet still hear every prayer we have, heal every hurt we have, plant every seed of promise we cling too, and cast every dream we hold dear.

God is so indescribably awesome.

Now, I do understand that you may have a passion for God and your spouse may not.

So what do you do when you are willing to connect and grow spiritually and your spouse isn't?

#1 You need to pray, and don't preach. Preaching never works. But God does. So pray to God about your man instead of preaching to your man about God.   Let God do the thing you cannot.

Which leads to point two...   

#2 You cannot change your spouse, but you can change yourself. You cannot make them grow and connect spiritually with you but that does not mean that you still can’t grow and connect to God. And often times when you improve your spiritual life, it will produce a desire in them to improve as well.

I know life and marriage is not easy. Please know I am praying for each and everyone who reads this today.  There is an enemy who would love nothing more than to destroy your marriage.  So I pray these insights will help you as you travel the sometimes bumpy road of marriage.

I would love to hear your thoughts on growing and connecting spiritually as a couple.  Do you find it difficult?  Have you found a method that works for you?  Leave a comment below or email me at tina@ccalachua.com.  I ALWAYS love hearing from you!!

Much love,


Unknown said...

Great read, TFP

Pat Johns said...

Such an awesome experience to connect with your mate spiritually.

One of the things we most enjoy each year is a road trip to the Smoky mountains in the fall and marvel at God's handiwork....we hold hands as we drive on those country roads looking at the beautiful fall leaves and reflect on God's goodness to us and our children.

Thanks Tina for another wonderful blog.....